OASESD is the “observational advance species environmental simulation department“. Responsible for maintaining the simulation hologram contract between lower end “mammalian” population and intergalactic 1% alien actors. Arriving eight milliseconds ahead of the first solar photons to reach the curvature of her pupil, Mr.GustoX embarks. The role of OASESD is to ensure a productive “holographic” experience for all species within the “Milky Way” spectrum while maintaining a cosmic social contract on “simulation layer” crops as described to me by the alien. On the Bootes galactic system Mr.GustoX is nearly 5,000 years old as his home planet adheres to an entirely different set of laws in physics and space time curvature dynamics. Upon his arrival on earth as a silent intergalactic “holographic” operator, the sentient being reassembles into human form using biologic particles of matter. Hitherto, I agreed to meet with the alien lord for an exclusive interview as part of a book series on the connection between alien abductions and anal sex, AKA: gentle probes.
Part One: Interview with an Alien
I arrived nineteen earth minutes ahead of time to the corner of freedom and uncertainty, where Mr.GustoX indicated we should meet inside “the bubble” dream. Amidst the busy pedestrian workflow traffic where heavenly bodies caress each other towards internal emotional safety. At sunrise, he appears before me from the bowls of the ether to tell me the meaning behind the multiverse, top down simulation crop and observing what he calls “those pesky lower end creatures“. With our thoughts around our waist, I for one in utter confusion we walk towards Korova’s Pub where the conversation is always intergalactic of the cryptic kind.
Why did you suggest we meet at Korova’s Pub?
Can you tell me why you responded to the Craig’s list clipping with intentions to discuss these esoteric moral topics Mr.GustoX?
As a tabloid Sci-Fi writer my readers want to read about 1% aliens and anal probes.
” It is a biological miracle that a species emerging nearly two to three hundred and fifty thousand years ago, from the crotch of an African plateau. Diversifying across the continents into celestial divisive camps would understand how to survive“.
“ To you first question, the anal neutrinos at Korova’s pub are the best in the bubble market. Providing sample DNA layers to bring back to Bootes for recreating a more complete AI version of your digital matrix of sensations. We will get to the subject of your inner hard ons Dude-box pen pal writer, as I have develop several simulations ranging between pulp, science and fiction. In contrast to your readers demand for sniff and puff there was the occasional breach of protocol when I worked on the Butt Hole Frames and Ghetto Beef simulation game.”
Ok Sparky!, how did you arrive on Earth
and what is the multiverse?
” It will take me several chapters followed by a number of infinite sessions to distilled into your collective consciousness how these cosmic balls fit in together. Our species didn’t create the technology behind the multiverse or top down simulation AI experiences, on lower end tech species across the galaxy. I shall begin by describing the role of OASESD in relation to space time, traveling along the galactic multiverse system across the Milky Way.”
” The observational advance species environmental simulation department ( OASESD ) ensures a maximum level of high fidelity in worlds maintained by 1% alien technology. Dominated around the concept of the many worlds hypothesis using simulation holographic digital experiences. Your reality before us on planet earth is a digital simulation holographic algorithmic system, maintained by cosmic developers dispatch across the heavens . As a matter of fact, multiverse technology is common wisdom in our galactic neighborhood. Your mammalians on planet Earth are just beginning to rub the galactic pussy hole behind all things possible to ensure your cosmic survival.”
With this in mind as the external color field behind the alien deep black skin, resonated wildly like an embryonic magic drum. I began to realize there was more probing to be done before the sniff and puff narrative began to unfold. From what I can gather Mr.GustoX is a cosmic traveler working for a galactic NGO dedicated to maintain “holographic” oder on planets ruled by 1% high technology. “Whereabouts within the galactic order is unknown other than to say they are behind the bubble order simulation AI worlds”. As the reptilian population is beginning to juggle issues pertaining to nuclear proliferation, biologically engineer diseases, cyber war, climate change topple with sectarian religious conflicts . I began ponder how I was going sell the story to Kendra, my senior political editor in chief.
In orchestrating such a close encounter with a person claiming to be from another region of our known galactic neighborhood corner. The notion of our place within our own solar system began to bubble inside me as to what happen to life on Mars? Perhaps the alien god with negro completion might tell us before departing. “For clues on planet Earth, the Egyptian civilization wing located inside Kendal’s Harp museum shop is a clear thesis with eloquent scientific evidence for those willing to dig inside the data”, said the alien.
I continued to probe Mr.GustoX,
Tell me more about your observational journeys across
the Milky Way?
” Blending amongst your species across centuries as a cosmic traveler while calibrating simulation atoms inside the multiverse. Ensuring all neuronal impulses are triggered inside your digital simulation dream is no easy task, even for advance technical aliens such as myself. Our galactic computational shifts are between one to five hundred earth years, I often break with OASESD protocols pertaining to crop AI modification tactics. Such was the time spend with Diana Lin, AKA: Such a nasty little tease and Chatt SpringField, AKA: Jehovah’s Photographer.”
“Along with the dynamic duo between Ottman and Daniel B gentle play between rubbing each other’s blackholes inside the bubble reality that was butt-hole frames.”
” In no other planetary system will there be such a lovely heavenly body as represented in the holographic rendition behind Mara-Verse sensual figure.”
I Told The Alien, why don’t you tell me about Diana and Chatt?
While Mr.GustoX is deep in thought describing what I came here to collect and hear,
Kendra Messages Me via Kik,
” Where the heck are you Dude-Box? The introductory draft on your story about kinky Alien abductions is due 45 nanoseconds ago via our data pipe intergalactic channel. In the event that your story holds mustard up against our 1% alien scum narrative, the publisher will go to print just for you. Do keep in mind it will not appear on the cover as we need to focus on the pig farm election loop cycle,”
I reply to Kendra with the following tidbit:
PART TWO: Working On “Butt-Hole Frames” with Gusto despite Kendra’s insistence to be more social when covering barn yarn election gatherings.